Spengler's Spirit Guide


Desperate to avoid further tragedy, Ms. Winchester found a suitable site for her "spiritual undertaking" on forty acres of land in the Santa Clara valley south of San Francisco (ghosts love that California weather). Construction began the day she moved in and continued around the clock for the next 38 YEARS. Not knowing how to account for the amount of personal space required to make an average Class 7 Corporeal Entity or Class 9 Full-Scale Poltergeist comfortable (my estimates are 300 sq. ft. and 700 sq. ft., respectively), Ms. Winchester continually added on to the house without regard to practicality and/or form.

Rumors abound concerning the reclusive, eccentric lifestyle Ms. Winchester chose after moving in to her Mansion. Some say she slept in a different room every night for fear of being found by vengeful souls. Others recount that in her constant effort to keep her vaporous roommates happy, she hosted elaborate seances and parties (during which spirits gave her construction advice). SmileySlimer, in fact, claims to have attended one of Ms. Winchester's shindigs in 1918; he was asked to "leave," but Slimer insists that the the unfortunate incident involving he and Ms. Winchester's housecat has been blown out of proportion. Very few of the "living" were ever allowed in the house and those who visited rarely spoke of it. What is known for sure is that when she died, Sarah Winchester left behind a monstrous home containing 10,000 windows, 700 rooms, 950 doors, countless blind passages and fake stairways, as well as a request that "ghosts continue to be welcomed and provided for." I suppose Ms. Winchester must have meant tourists from Ohio, because my trusty PKE METER registered a flat reading during my entire visit to the Winchester Mansion. What I can say with certainty, however, is that if the house itself isn't actually haunted, the mind behind it's construction most certainly was. If you are ever in the San Francisco / San Jose area, I highly recommend stopping off to visit the Winchester Mansion. And if your Ghost Hunting skills are sharp, you just may be lucky enough to spot one of the home's supposed ghostly residents. Until next time... happy hunting!

Dr. Egon Spengler

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