Spengler's Spirit Guide

Ghostbusting 101
Ever wonder how your homework ended up in the refrigerator? Do you get a creepy feeling when your TV turns itself back on after you've turned it off? Do those small floating lights, clouds and mysterious cold spots in your bedroom make you a little uncomfortable? What about the last time you saw something moving across the room out of the corner of your eye then turned on the lights and saw nothing? You probably thought you were just "seeing things" and quickly forgot about it. Well if you're in the XGB world, those "things" you've seen might have been ghosts....

GhostIt's normal to consider this a scary realization, but more often than not there's nothing to worry about. In the world of the XGB's, there are literally thousands of buildings and locations registered and monitored by various individuals and groups dedicated to the documentation and investigation of paranormal phenomena. Even more surprising is that many of the structures' present inhabitants acknowledge and accept the fact that they share their daily activities with various members of the myriad of free roaming vapors we commonly refer to as "ghosts".

SpineyThese people who accept that they live with ghosts aren't all crazy. They are, restaurant owners, storekeepers, theater custodians, college students, lawyers, and doctors; young and old alike. Though many of these people do confess to an initial period of unease with the self-consciousness an invisible roommate no doubt provokes, most gradually come to accept, and in some cases, actually learn to like their spectral companions. For all you know, you may very well have a ghost living in your home, school, or workplace and not even know about it. There may even be one looking over your shoulder right now. Choosing to ignore all of those strange occurrences by dismissing them as "old pipes" or "seeing things" is perfectly fine; no doubt many ghosts are perfectly happy being left alone.

Floaty GhostsOn the other hand, in our world, some ghosts have grudges or just want to cause general mayhem. The worst cases involve malicious acts intended to inflict petrifying fear upon the victims. If your bedroom wall periodically bursts into flames and/or you see big globs of stinking slime floating in the middle of clouds of swirling knives in your kitchen, you've probably got a serious poltergeist infestation. In this case, the correct thing to do is leave the premises. This is a job for an expert; a professional Ghostbuster with the right equipment and training. Once you are armed with a basic knowledge about ghosts, you will be able to assess each situation and determine the appropriate course of action.

Come back soon. Next week's feature is Part II of Ghostbusting 101: The Ghost Classification System.

Dr. Egon Spengler